Friendships And When To Step Back

I think there comes a point in everyones life when you hear that little bell in your head and are hit with that voice that asks you ‘why do you keep trying?’, i’m referring to friendships of course but tbh all types of relationships can be applied to this.

I’ve never been the type of girl who had one specific group of friends that did everything together, i’m more of a friend here and there sort of girl if you know what I mean? I can count on one hand the number of close friends I have and i’m just fine with that, in fact I prefer it.

I like to think of myself as a good friend, I mean I try to be and always have tried, I stand by them no matter what’s going on in their lives, support them, tell them when they’ve done something stupid or fucked up and just have a good ole time with them no matter what that entails. I’m not the kind of friend that needs to be going out all the time, i’m happy just chilling in their place or mine having a cuppa and a chat … pretty low maintenance really. I’m also a really forgiving person which I now kinda see as a bit of a weakness for myself because how many times can you forgive someone for doing the same thing over and over after giving so many chances already? I hate losing people and I know this is a big issue for me, I’m afraid of people who are important to me just leaving but thats a whole other therapy session in its self.

The point of this post is to just reinforce to myself and to you guys that effort in friendships, relationships, whatever shouldn’t be one sided and yes I completely understand there are genuine reasons why ‘your mate had to cancel on tomorrows plans’ i’ve had to do it myself several times because of work, illness and random circumstances but when that said mate cancels again and again and again (you get my point) it becomes a chore to even want to try and organise something else because you just think ‘well why should I?’ and the answer to that … you shouldn’t, so sit back and wait for them to come to you for a change, and if they don’t, well fine they obviously arn’t a friend worth keeping!

I don’t want you to think that i’m here just having a bitch about all my friends because this certainly doesn’t apply to the majority because hand on my heart I don’t know what i’d do without them! I just think life is already hectic and stressful at times and your friends should be a positive impact on your life, not another reason for you to worry or think you’ve done something wrong. It may be my old age talking but i’m all about tossing out that big bag of negative energy and surrounding yourself with people who bring you happiness, positivity and a heck of a lot of laughs.


4 thoughts on “Friendships And When To Step Back

  1. I have really supportive friends, especially one that I;ve known since I was 10 years old. I love her with all my heart, but now that she has a boyfriend she never talks to me. She texted me to RT her selfie but other than that I’m the one that is always texting her first to see if she wants to hangout. She threw me a surprise party in October but that was the last time I’ve seen her.. I don’t know if I should just give up on the friendships or not. Sorry this was long

    • Ahh don’t worry about the length I’m glad you’ve shared this! Sometimes people get lost in their relationship and it becomes their entire world (I’ve been guilty of it myself in the past). October is a long time ago but she threw you a surprise party so I’m guessing she loves you to do such a nice thing! Have you tried to speak to her about this and tell her how you’re feeling? I would suggest trying to chat with her about the situation, she might not realise what’s going on if her head is in relationship land haha 😊 if nothing happens after that then at least you’ve done all you can and it’s down to her!

      I think this is even longer than your comment haha, I hope it helps xx

  2. I had a good friend since I was eight but after high school I could tell she wasn’t as invested in her friendships anymore and a few years after that she barely talked to anyone, cancelled plans, and didn’t want to see me or another girl because we wouldn’t do drugs with her (something I found out after the friendship ended.) It became tiring, being the one to start conversations, try to see one another. Lasted about a year until the friendship just faded and it happens and I didn’t try to force it back to life.

    I completely understand what you’re saying and this is such a good post x

    • Aww that’s such a shame that the friendship ended but there’s only so much you can do! I think a real friend wouldn’t push you away just because you didn’t want to do drugs, they should respect your choices and not pressure you.

      Well done to you for not forcing it, sometimes it’s better just to realise ‘okay it’s ended and I’m fine with that’

      Thank you so much for your comment 😊 x

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